10 Bizarre Sex Toys That We Would Totally Use
Sex toys have gotten really bizarre. We blame the Japanese… and people who are really bored. Also, we blame anyone with a penis. People are coming up with more and more bizarre ways to get off, and we’ve collected some of the most bizarre (and pretty cool). We would include links to purchase all of them, but we’re pretty sure you can manage the Googling part yourself.
Here are 10 Bizarre Sex Toys That We Would Totally Use:
10. The Blowjob Machine
Leave it to the Japanese to come up with the least sexual sex device ever. It looks more like a Ecto Blaster than anything that resembles a sex toy. Like the machine says, it’s “Heaven!”
9. The Auto Suck (12 Volt Travel Size)
You plug one end into your car’s lighter, and plug the other end into you. The Auto Suck does the rest.
8. The Glow In The Dark Speculum
“See Deep Into Your Passions” is the motto for this one. “See deep into your troubled psyche” is more like it.
7. The P*ssy Foot
You’re going to have to trust us on this one. On the bottom of this silicone foot is a vagina, because God forgot to put one there.
6. The Extreme Chin Dildo
This thing looks like it’s ready to drill for oil… with your face.
5. The Joy Finger
This will go any where that you wouldn’t put your actual finger. It’s also for those who really get off on Halloween props.
4. The Hand Grenade Butt Plug
Fire in the hole!
3. The Wii-Do
We’ve seen the remote control vibrators that you can control while you’re at dinner with the misses. Now, with these his and hers toys from ooio, you can send each other good vibrations over the Internet. If a hacker breaks into your woman’s Wii-Do, is it technically cheating?
2. The Pelvatron 3000
This will let you thrust your pelvis AND play Pac-Man. Woo!
1. Jackhammer Jesus
This one has a million built-in sales pitches. “Now he’s gonna nail you (to the cross)!” We’ll take 12. One for each of our disciples.
Also, be sure to check out the condom applicator. Is it a sex toy or torture device? Could tasers soon be the new sex toy? We hope not!
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