Two Jewish men, Sid and Al, were sitting in a Mexican restaurant. Sid asked Al, “Are there any people of our faith born and raised in Mexico?” Al replied, “I don’t know, let’s ask our waiter.”

When the waiter came by, Al asked him, “Are there any Mexican Jews?” and the waiter said, “I don’t know Senor, I’ll ask the cooks.” He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said “No sir, no Mexican Jews.”

Al wasn’t really satisfied with that and asked, “Are you absolutely sure?”
The waiter, realizing he was dealing with “Gringos” gave the expected answer, “I will check again,Senor! “ and went back into the kitchen.

While the waiter was away, Sid said, “I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in Mexico, Our people are scattered everywhere.”

The waiter returned and said “Senor, the head cook said there is no Mexican Jews.” “Are you certain?” Al asked once again. “I can’t believe there are no Mexican Jews!”

“Senor, I ask EVERYONE,” replied the exasperated waiter, “All we have is Orange Jews, Prune Jews,Tomato Jews, and Grape Jews.”

Luigi Colani has designed many amazing things. Here you can see some of the trucks he has come up with and how interesting they look. These trucks are actually in use today and were actually originally designed in the 1980’s. Changes have been made to them through the years to what you see today.

Luigi Colani has designed many amazing things. Here you can see some of the trucks he has come up with and how interesting they look. These trucks are actually in use today and were actually originally designed in the 1980’s. Changes have been made to them through the years to what you see today.

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs

…Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

And you thought I was going to get all spiritual!

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs

…Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

And you thought I was going to get all spiritual!

One day Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Pierce Brosnan were in a jungle in order to take some shots for a movie. Unfortunately, they were caught by a tribal group. As they were about to be executed they pleaded to the Queen of the Tribe for her mercy. She said, ”Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed.” The three stars looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food

Spielberg was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. She tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of them up his ass. The servants finished their duty, leaving a screaming Spielberg.

Schwarzenegger was the next to arrive with some yummy apples. The same thing happened to him, but cusiously he laughed as the apples were shoved up his ass. Spielberg was shocked. Here he was with grapes up his ass howling in pain, but Schwarzenegger had several apples in his ass and he was still laughing. He asked him ”What the hell are you laughing at?”

A laughing Schwarzenegger replied ”Pierce is coming back with a watermelon.”’

Three friends die and go to heaven. The first guy gets handcuffed to one of the ugliest girls there.

”Why?” he asks.

St. Paul replies, ”When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.” The same happens to the second guy. He asks why.

St. Paul replies, ”When you were nine you killed a bird with a stone.” The third guy laughs at his friends and says, ”Thank God I didn’t do anything like that.” He gets handcuffed to the prettiest girl in heaven. The other two guys ask, ”Why?”

”Because when she was nine she killed a bird with a stone.”